Friday, February 26, 2010
I've mentioned once or twice (every day) that I prefer those oddball flicks from the seventies and eighties above anything and everything new and slick in horror these days. While I do venture out to the theatre for horror releases and I do rent the latest buzz around the internets, I just tend not to really fully enjoy new horror ventures. I can't help but think during anything new that I watch that a mid-seventies Italian giallo version would be better or that Jean Rollin could offer more panache to this or that or if Paul Naschy were only in this, etc.
DEAD SNOW is the perfect example of why I don't like new horror movies and why I don't like zombie movies any more. It's just not good. It's not entertaining. It's textbook and boring and tries to be quirky with its dumbass character that I don't care about. The diaglogue is lame (although that could be due in part to watching it dubbed) and there is sex while pooping, something that could NOT be any grosser. The couple pairings don't work, Nazi zombies just aren't as edgy as they used to be, the makeup effects are not particularly overwhelming (however, the whole hanging from a cliff fighting a zombie while hanging from another zombie's intestines was pretty rad), and it's referential but not in a good way.
All that banter about venturing out to a cabin in the woods crap and referencing EVIL DEAD and FRIDAY the 13TH just comes off as contrived. And it's got male characters saying the lamest sexist shit about women being scared and that's their nature and blah. I thought this movie was from this decade?
It does look nice and blood looks good on splattered on snow, but since when do I give a crap about something being well shot? I watch prints of movies that look like they were drug across the ocean floor and enjoy them more than this. I found myself wandering away to bleach my hair, check the mail, and vacuum all during the hour and a half running time of this bore.
Zombies are the new pirates and have been for awhile. They just don't do it for me any more.
That and I'm just cranky. DEAD SNOW actually served its purpose because sometimes you just want to bitch about a movie. Or at least I do; don't know about you lot.