Well, the holidays are hard pressed upon us, and this season I can be found scurrying around (read: I go to the wine store and find the least expensive bottles I can find to give out to family members) getting ready for what is probably the cheapest buildup since my last one night stand. Since I don't 'work' that much as is, I can't even boast a terrific vacation to make way for holiday madness, but if there's one thing I do (well?) is watch weird movies and talk about them here. Through my cold medicine and malbec-induced hazed, I bring you my essential holiday movie watch list:
1. Female Trouble, directed by John Waters. JW (as I like to call him) is the one of the main reasons I'm here bringing you perverts hours upon hours of entertainment (ha!). I've derived the name of ye old blog from one of his flicks and I deem him essential viewing any time of year. However, if you see my post prior to this one, you'll see the reason this makes the holiday list.
2. Gremlins. While not an outright Christmas movie, per say, it's still set at Christmas and is weird and wonderful enough for me to watch it every season. It's a kid's movie about monsters and I probably also wouldn't be where I am without a movie that inspired my love of monsters at such a young age. I'm feeling all warm and nostalgic now.
3. Silent Night, Deadly Night, all of them, up through that terrible one Brian Yuzna directed. I don't care, as a horror movie fan at the holidays, you drink tons of wine, get out your gift wrap, start wrapping those gifts, invite your ex over and get to havin' this marathon. End the night forgetting everything you saw except Linnea's boobs impaled on taxidermy and let the tears flow. Feel free to even roll around in the carpet with the VHS still rolling. Wake up the next day wondering if you asked your ex to get back together but don't even feel embarrassed.
4. Black Christmas, the Bob Clark version, of course. A great slasher if there ever was one and Margot Kidder is such a bitch! Not to mention death by crystal unicorn.
5. Santa's Slay. I don't watch pro-wrestling, but damn if I don't become a fan of pro-wrestler Goldberg over the course of this whacked-out tongue-in-cheek holiday horror romp. I show up for the Goldberg, I stick around for the outrageous puns, and I leave with a nice buzz due to lots o' practical violence and silly gore gags. This one's a good time.
Well, I think I'm going to call it a night for now. I've been battling a cold for days now and not feeling all that stellar. But hey, I'm still drinkin' and watchin.' Make sure you check out Elwood Jones' blog, The Depths of DVD Hell for the remainder of this month because he'll be running lots of stuff about what his favorite bloggers deem essential Christmas viewing. He was kind enough to ask me for my thoughts, and you got 'em!
PS. Moochie was not harmed in the pic above. He got in that box and ASKED that we cover him in bows. We could only comply. Ya'll don't understand how insistent he is.