Friday, February 18, 2011

Reasons Why Waxwork is Great

1. It has a dwarf. While he's not quite as sinful as the Sinful Dwarf, he's still a creepy ass dwarf. And he reminds me a bit of Hans from FREAKs.

2. It has Miles O'Keefe. How much O'Keefe is in this movie? Miles O'Keefe. And he's a Dracula. The least sexy Dracula of all, yet still a Dracula.

3. It has the words 'steak tar tar' in it. What other horror movie do you know of that has a reference to steak tar tar? Please let me know.

4. It's like five movies in one. Dracula, Mummy, Zombie, Marquis de Sade (?), Werewolf, it's got it all. Soooooo goood.

5. It's eighties as hell. And it has the lead from GREMLINS, Zack whatever his name is.

6. There's an old dude in a wheelchair that loves all things occult and has been waiting for the day when the waxwork claims all it's victims so there can be an uprising of epic proportions that includes a butler and lots of flame-throwing devices so the world doesn't get taken over by history's most notorious villains, fictional or no!

7. It features a fucking wax museum. Remind me to tell you the story where I needed to pee when I was in Mexico and ended up in a creepy-as-fuck wax museum, complete with scenes straight out of this movie. Most unsettling.

8. Anthony Hickox directed this shit. Remember him from HELLRAISER III? (And WAXWORK 2 is on the TV in HR3 when he gets a phone call in the middle of the night). Also remember him because he's an important director and shit. I like that he has a beard. And casts himself in his own movies.

WAXWORK is great for a lot of reasons and I only touched on them here. Feel free to expound in the comments, dubiously.


  1. Those are all totally true points.

    I like that Hickox gave Zach Galligan a cameo in 'Warlock II.' It's just 'Hey, look who shows up randomly!

  2. Agreed on the importance of WAXWORK. Classic 80's filmage. :D

  3. Jenn: I'm convinced, particularly since it is set in a wax museum, which always has a built-in creep factor nearly off the charts. Please make a post sometime of your Mexican experience. Needing to pee in certain parts of Mexico is a frightening enough experience, as is. Throw in a wax museum, and you have an event that might scar for life.

    The only other movie I can think of that has a reference to steak tar tar is the animated An American Tail: Fievel Goes West<. No points there, I don't suppose.

  4. I too am a huge fan of Waxwork, as well as Waxwork II: Lost in Time. China gets me all hot and bothered when she says "I do what I want, when I want...if you don't like it, fuck off!" LOVE IT! Also, "I NEED THE CAFFEINE" is a staple of my daily dialogue in the morning. LOVE Waxwork.

  5. i picked up the waxwork/waxwork 2 dvd months ago & still hadn't cracked it open, so after reading your blog (in lieu of sleep) it was double-feature time.

  6. @Tim. Isn't there also a Drew Barrymore cameo in WW2? And a Bruce Campbell cameo? Wow.

    @Astro. Totally!

    @Mykal. Oh, Fieval! We are always singing 'there are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese!' but I don't remember the steak tar tar reference. It has been a long time, however.

    @Suzuka. I know, I love her! She's such a bitch but to be respected. She should have been the Marquis de Sade's hot seat instead of the stupid ass that ended up there. Too easy, I suppose.

    @MofMmoS. Crack it, baby, crack it. You won't be disappointed!

  7. Good points, Jenn. The dwarf was sinful enough. They're all damn sinful.

  8. The other day I got into a dispute over a drink recipe with a visually impaired albino, so anything is possible.

  9. I love the swoop sound effect on the dwarf's bow. Classic.

    And I think you need to tell us your HORROR OF THE MEXICAN WAX MUSEUM'S RESTROOM story. In its own post. ;)

  10. Pretty good stuff wrt anything that dwarf does. What about the creepy giant man-child butler? I didn't even mention him. And the dwarf is always yelling at him and he enters at the wrong time and can't do anything right? Poor dude.

    As for my Mexican wax museum story, maybe one day :) I have to leave some things for wanting...

  11. "Visually impaired albino," hopefully the argument wasn't over a milk based concoction.

  12. This is one of my all-time favourite films. Deborah Foreman was so hot in the Marquis de Sade scenes that I had a serious crush on her from then on and would seek out films that she was in... April Fool's Day being one notable example (I probably wouldn't have watched it otherwise).

  13. This list could have been 1000 reasons long, WAXWORK > ALL!!

  14. There's a reference to steak tar tar in The Howling III: The Marsupials! And you can't imagine how long I've wanted to put that bit of useless knowledge to use. I can't remember a whole lot of the movie except there's a scene where werewolf nuns deliberately frighten a small, bratty child and I made up a drinking game to go along with it and played it with my bird sitting on my head as we watched. So it gets a little fuzzy toward the end but I'm pretty sure there was ballet involved. Bizarre. I adore your site. Give the kitties many, many cuddles from me and thanks for all the laughs and great entertainment.

  15. Hi Nicole! That is so awesome; you totally don't know how much I loved hearing this about a reference to steak tar tar in another movie. Is this the Howling that takes place in Australia and there's a werewolf baby birth? I remember the werewolf nuns and an impossibly hot werewolf chick.

    Thanks for your kind words. I'll give the kitties lots of lovin' on your behalf! Good to hear from you!