Sunday, July 25, 2010


Tell me this is not totally inappropriate! Lionel Richie as a high school drama teacher stalking a blind girl so much so that she must render his visage in clay, having never seen him (she's blind, ya know), but since they have some sort of connection, she's able to visualize what he might look like if she had to tell the fucking police what he looks like after she got tired of all his stalking and sexual harassment. You're welcome.

I've had three wines and three coffees (they cancel each other out) and am about to go get Sam from his mama's house after five days of being separated. I'm bored and drunk and lonely - but I did have brunch with a bunch of drag queens (and vodka) today and then took a nap which resulted in me thinking I had slept thru Monday, even though it's still Sunday. I got up, freaked out for like forty minutes, and then realized it was still Sunday.


  1. To be fair, good ol' Lionel comes from a more innocent time when the only people who were reading stalkerish, potentially pedophiliac meanings into his songs & vids were probably, well, actual stalkers and pedophiles. These days we are supposedly much more wary of these creepy ulterior motives, which is why Lionel Richie's faux-romantic antics just don't fly anymore.

    On a barely related note, a buddy of mine once developed this weird, train-wreck-like fascination with watching (and making fun of) backyard wrestling footage. He couldn't seem to get enough of this stuff. And one of these idiot teenagers who was participating demonstrated his big finishing maneuver, a really amateurish, sloppy 'reverse-piledriver' on top of the hood of an automobile. One of the other dumb kids, acting as a play-by-play announcer of sorts, exclaimed into the video camera: "Oh my God, that's his finishing move! It's called the... the... the Lionel Richie!" Which, I must admit, I thought was hysterical and an ingenious bit of improvisation.

  2. Good point, Astro. How far have we come when we can't appreciate Lionel Richie's pedophiliac stalkerish leanings and misconstrue them as such? What a joyless world we live in.

    But I do like living in a world where there is a backyard wrestling move called the 'Lionel Richie.'

  3. It's always perplexed me as to how a blind person could create that sculpture. I guess it was the magic of the 80's.
    I also like how he calls her and hangs up after singing one line of the song - nice move. She also does a hell of a job putting on her eye makeup for being blind. Just sayin'.

  4. I just spit out my beer. That's funny.

  5. Holy shit. He's her teacher, right? She's a blind, high school student that needs a cane to make her way to her locker. Correct? Plus, if that wasn't enough, he's got a fucking lisp. "In my dreams I've kissed you lips a thousand times." Jesus, somebody call a cop already, or at the very least tell the girl's dad so pop can deliver an old-school beat down.

    Nice to see you still going strong, Jenn.