She-Freak

Alright perverts, I've been drinking all day. It's my day off and I like to drink all day on my day off. Nothin' wrong with that and nothing wrong with watching a little bit of carnival exploitation from the 70's on your day off either. In fact, I can't think of a better way to pass the time. Thus I give you She-Freak, David Friedman's Freaks, as it were. Not nearly as entertaining as Tod Browning's original version, which we all know and love so no plot synopsis will be necessary here, partially because I'm buzzin', but Lord love it for many, many reasons. But, there are things I hate about it, but we'll get to those uno momento.

Reason #1 to love She-Freak. It seems like it was made by someone with a fetish for carnivals. I myself have a carnival fetish and love anything to do with one. My lunatic friends and I go to the state fair here every year and make complete trashy asses ourselves all day long. Talk about drinkin' all day. We drink Bud and watch the demolition derby and eat fried everything! It's a glorious day, my favorite day of the year, really. But yes, there is many a shot of people enjoying the carnival, eating cotton candy, reveling in the carnival, etc. etc. There is even a multitude of shots of the carnival being set up, and these shots take place well into the movie, at one point, they set up some bumper cars at like the 55 minute mark. The damn thing is nearly over! And they're still setting up. Like I said, carnival fetish. I'm very turned on right now.

Reason #2 to love She-Freak. It's called She-Freak. You know I love things concerning the ladies, and this just puts it right out there on the table. She's a freak and she's a lady. In my Quagmire voice, all right!

Reason #3 to love She-Freak. It's modeled plotwise after Tod Browning's wonderful wonderful movie. No, it doesn't feature actual freaks (one of the reasons to hate it), but it's still kinda sorta true to its source material - it follows the same formula anyway - and I love Tod Browning and I love his movie Freaks.

Now for the shit list.

Reason #1 to hate She-Freak. It does not feature actual freaks like its inspiration. Early on, when our protagonist Jade first joins the carnival, she takes in the 10 in 1. She expresses to her stripper friend, Moon, how disgusting freaks are and how she would prefer not to be near them. Always the sympathist, Moon assures Jade the freaks are better off in the show than out in the real world, but Jade still detest them. I don't know if there was just a lack of natural-borns or what, but all this has going for it is a sword swallower and an old lady that kisses a snake. And Friedman himself is the barker. That's pretty cool.

Reason #2 to hate She-Freak. It is slow. Slow as molasses. It's like a nudie movie only no one is nude and the nude parts have been replaced by the site of the tilt a whirl whirling for twenty minutes at a stretch. I'm exaggerating of course, but still. It can get real boring watching barefoot roughnecks assemble a ferris wheel. I know I said I got off at the carnival shots, but seriously, even I have a threshold for such things.

Reason #3 to hate She-Freak. Jade is gross. She looks like Jocelyn Weinstein. Her face is like a plastic surgery accident gone wrong and this was in the days before plastic surgery was in vogue. She does not own the coniving character of Jade at all, and seems actually more at home in her role once she becomes a freak show attraction. I could have used a much more attractive and convincing actress in the Jade role.

Ah well. Gotta love it and gotta hate it. Sometimes you gotta do both. I want more freaks and I want them now. But I gotta give props because I just do. I'm so eloquent.