Also, I was meaning to tell ya'll, I recently woke up in a bathtub full of ice, with a note pinned to my clothes that my kidneys had been removed and I should contact a medical professional immediately. That'll teach me to get fucked up in Mexico again. And those damn chupacabras! They're everywhere. Here's the photo evidence to prove it. The whole kidney thing, not the chupacabras, that is.
So you see why this sojourn into this bottle of pino noir is so well deserved. Working, goat sucking beasts, and missing internal organs. You'd be hard pressed yourself to not want to do the same.
That room looks incredibly cosy.
ReplyDeleteHey, we've all been there... ;)
ReplyDeleteI think I dated a chupacabra once. And as far as your kidneys, I'm sorry. Poor thing. BUT... you gotta take into consideration how much kidneys go for on the black market. And since this is Mexico we're talkin' about, chances are your missing internal organs fed some kidney thief's wife and thirteen children for an entire year.
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't surprise me, Aaron, I assumed your affinity for wild cryptozoological beasts. Yeah, well, it just means I can get drunk quicker, now that I'm missing vital organs. It'll be cheaper at any rate.
ReplyDeleteWe will have your organs back to you once the wit has been extracted and replicated successfully so that our legion of space-age superbloggers can be complete.
ReplyDeleteAh, so my kidneys are being used in the interest of SCIENCE?! I'm cool with that.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lost my kidneys, I jury-rigged a dialysis machine out of a Mtn Dew 2-ltr bottle, rubber bands, a thumb tack, a stress ball, and some drinking straws. I'm done with it, but it's still lying around some place. Want me to send it to you?
ReplyDeleteCool artwork, tho.
If I was really hardcore, which I'm not, it's all a front, I would have gotten those scars branded in. But instead, I opted to have them tattooed instead. And it's cool, because every time someone gets to them in my tattoo guy's book of tattoo pics, they say, eewwww, gross. So mission accomplished, I guess. Even thought that wasn't really my mission. But I guess it kinda was, cos I like grossin' folks out.
ReplyDeleteand yes, Astro, send me your jerry-rigged mt. dew bottle apparatus. I need me some cheap dialysis.
Nice to talk to you about crack, wierd movies, and hot innappropriate dudes. Slip by more often...you totally don't smell like someone missing their kidneys. Mattox
ReplyDelete