Friday, November 27, 2009


Stop me (don't really) if you've heard something incarnation like this before - three hotties (a blond, a brunette, and a much younger in relation to her two hottie friends naive chick) set out out on a road trip to a music festival. Something goes wrong in the middle of nowhere, car ends up wrecked, and the trio find themselves under the care of a family that seems, uh, not quite right. Shit hits the fan and everyone starts winding up dead at the end of pickaxe. Pedestrian, I know. Boring, probably. But UNHINGED (1980) does it just a little bit better and it has enough scenery chewing, weird dialogue, and a you-might-be-able-to-figure-it-out twist ending, to keep me laughing and singing it's praises at least for the length of this blog post.

I swear, this movie has Cavalcade written all over it. From the late seventies/early eighties? Check. Hottie protagonists? Check and check. Eschewing men and sex to the point of psychosis? Double check. Cross dressing and androgyny? Yep. A retarded sibling that 'wouldn't harm a fly'? Oh yeah. Lots of peeping/heavy breathing while girls take showers together? Got that too. Blood and guts? A little (there's only three girls to kill and it's gotta take up a running time of 1:20).

Incorporate all these elements, add a bit of a Norman Bates type of antagonist with just as domineering a mommy, toss with a little bit of overt psychosexual subtext, set the whole damn thing in a crumbling mansion, and give the actors the same lines to say over and over when explaining stuff that's already been explained, and there ya go! Cinema perfection, at least as far as I'm concerned!

What else do you really need to know? It's only an hour or so long, so it's not gonna totally take that much of an investment of your precious time but it does suffer from long periods of talking, so if you're a complete 80's gorehound, carry your ass somewhere else. But for my money (actually I didn't pay anything for this since Bruce gave me the copy), I'll invest my time watching an aging matriarch in a wheelchair lambast her daughter for being a complete slut in front of company and then menacingly attack the salt and pepper shakers. That, my dears, is my idea of entertainment.

Here, have a picture of the after-effects of the excesses of Thanksgiving. Bruce and Tuna relax on the couch drinking spiked iced tea while watching Naschy do his thing in WWvVW.


  1. I enjoyed this one although I didn't think it was anything spectacular. I thought it had a nice suspenseful set up with the girls driving down those winding roads in the thunderstorm with the radio voiceover in the background. The brutal ending makes it worth at least a single viewing anyway. I just wish the acting had been better.

  2. You should make one of those 'Jesus' bracelets with WWWWVVWD? emblazoned on it.

  3. @venoms5. The ending is what did it for me. I loved the twist and I loved the over the top scenery chewing and I loved the fact that (spoiler alert) the girl we think is our final girl gets all chopped up in the last few frames. I think there's definitely something unconventional about this.

    @Astro. Best acronym for a movie EVAR! I love typing it. WWvVW and it looks sort of like a bat :P

  4. Cool review Jenn. I like the fact that there was spiked iced-tea involved too. And is that a coffee table in the shape of a coffin in your photo!!??

  5. Thanks, James. And yes, my coffee table is in the shape of a coffin - it opens and everything to a red velvet interior. I stick the cats in there sometimes. It's also painted with tattoo flash art. I love that coffee table!

  6. Oh man this one is a total chore for me, it really stretches the hour or so runtime. I just want so badly for something badass to happen, and although we do get the payoff in the end, it was too little too late for me. The mom totally makes the film though. Did you catch any of the "comedy" track on the DVD? It is a collection of the least funny people I have ever heard chattering over the film. I believe the group was called Masters of the Obvious due to their unintelligent retelling of perceivable events on screen.

  7. It does stretch a bit, Carl. I agree with you - I think the most amazing part is the mom though; she's so whacked and all that stuff about men and the subsequent sexual relations with them being the root of all evil, I adored it! I could have listened to her all day. And then she'd just sort of space out and then want to hear her slut of a 'daughter' play the piano. Gold!

    I don't have the dvd of this - I think Bruce put the avi file on my computer - I don't really know where it came from - so thankfully (?) I haven't heard the 'comedy' extra track.

  8. When you open your Etsy shop hawking WWWvVWD t-shirts, bracelets, and thongs, please be sure to send a link to the Vicarage. Together with details on possible bulk discounts. ;)

    I haven't seen this movie so I'll just take your word as Gospel Truth on it. However, I am a little concerned looking at the final pic there--how many appliances do you have plugged into the wall over there? It's a fire hazard!

  9. Oh, absolutely. I'll put you on the mailing list. :P

    Yes, my word is Gospel Truth, as per the usual, and I've always had all that stuff plugged into the wall back there. Sometimes, for fun, I plug even MORE stuff in on that power strip, laptops, phones, various other sundry appliances. Hehe. I appreciate your concern however ;)