Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Loch Ness Horror: The Search Continues

Yesterday, in my tireless search to find super-expensive VHS tapes on line only to bitch about how people could think they could get so much for a TAPE, I came across The Loch Ness Horror on ebay with a buy-it-now price of $199. The artwork you see to your left is not the artwork featured on the particular copy I came across on the world's most popular auction site. That artwork was a close up of the monster's face and the box appeared to be a clamshell. In searching for the same tape this morning to blog it, I could no longer find the auction. Perhaps some moron paid $199? So I took to Amazon and found a copy with the artwork I am featuring here with an asking price from a private seller for $69.95, still waaaay to much to pay for a tape.
Now, I love any movie featuring anything cryptozoological. If it's got a loch ness, a chupacabra, a sasquatch, a fuckin' jersey devil (where is that movie? Someone make it NOW or please send me in the direction of where I can find it), it doesn't matter. I even have the Shriek of the Mutilated t-shirt. You'd be surprised how often people ask me if it's a real movie. I love giant shark movies too, any kind of predatory fish movie is a-ok with me. But I will NOT pay over 10 bucks for a vhs tape. It would have to be the holy fuckin' grail of vhs tapes (actually the holy fuckin' grail of vhs tapes is on ebay right now - a Unicorn, Inc. copy of Jess Franco's The Demons - and it's got four bids and it's up to 204 bucks, but whatever) and I still wouldn't pay over $25. I think back in the day I got a copy of Penelope Spheeris' Suburbia and I think I paid over $30 for it but I was young and stupid and reaaaaalllly wanted a copy of Suburbia. This was even before dvd players came out. Same with Return of the Living Dead - I have a clamshell of that and I think my mom paid like $80 for it because I begged and begged and had to have it. Remember, movies at the video store were super expensive. I wanted to keep the copy of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 'cause I kept renting it and renting it and then not returning it and when my mom asked how much it would be to buy it, I think it was like $125. But this was way back when, before tapes were super massed produced and sold at the video store for like five dollars.
I have made it a personal mission to watch any movie dealing with the loch ness monster, bigfoot, the mexican goat suckers, and the like. So someone hear my cries, keep making these sorts of movies, and those movies that are already made and feature these creatures, please make them affordable. Thank you.
Oh, shit, I just realized it was April Fool's Day, which means we must watch April Fool's Day. Or at least give a shout out to the fact that there is a horror movie dealing with a 'holiday' as whatever as April Fool's Day. I always really enjoyed the cover art on the box for that movie, you know it, the braid tied into a noose and she's holding a knife behind her back. It's not my favorite flick by any stretch; it was another one of those that can't live up to it's box.
Happy April Fool's Day, then, I guess, for whatever reason.


  1. It sucks when you have sellers jacking up the prices on VHS tapes, just because the title has been deleted, they for some strange reason feel, that they can charge what they want.
    Personally I'm still searching for a cheap copy of "Arena" which is one of those titles long since lost from the days of big box VHS.
    Speaking of shark movies though, there was at one point going to be a british version of "Jaws" made involving a killer pike, which strangly enough never happened, with rumours being that the pike is currently in someones garage.

    Great Blog post as always

  2. Still on the subject of killer sharks, another one I need to add to my collection is that Lamberto Bava-directed Jaws type movie. I can't remember the damn title. I have too many titles in my head sometimes. And then of course, the alternate titles. Bah!

    If you ever find that giant pike, in someone's garage, lemme know. I'm there!

    thanks for reading!

  3. There's that Jersey Devil episode of the X-Files and there's a movie (which I haven't seen) called "13th Child: Legend of the Jersey Devil". But yeah, like you, I love Sasquatch movies. I found a bunch of awful-looking ones at a video store so I might have to have a marathon soon. I think a movie about an over-sized killer Goblin Shark would be awesome and maybe Claudio Simonetti could score it. And that Lamberto Bava movie you're looking for is this one: