Adventures at the State Fair 2010

I woke up Friday morning to my girl, Casey, texting me. Get up, let's go to the fair, she said. Okay, I reply, sounds good. I'm under-exaggerating (is that a word?) In fact, it sounds freakin' fantastic! In case you didn't know or didn't read last year's fair post, I love the motherfuckin' fair. So I shower, coffee, and rouse Sam from sweet slumber. I couldn't wait! I got so impatient, I was waiting in the car in our driveway while Sam got ready. Then, on the way to Casey's I yelled at all the cars and stoplights in my way, because, goddammit, I'm on my way to the fair! In case you can't tell, I love the fair. I said it once and I'll say it again.

We were were there for almost eight hours. I am still tired and I still feel fat from consuming numerous fried items, but it was worth it. It only happens once a year, for crying out loud! The following are many of our adventures. Stay tuned all the way through for comments and comparisons to last year's fair.

This year, there was bonafide ten in one! I remember back when I was a kid, there was a ten in one and it got me started loving all things carnie way back when I was ten years old! And I was super pleased to find that many of the acts were the same! And the fire eater and sword swallower was the same dude from twenty years ago! He's also the human pincushion and we paid the extra two bucks to watch him stick pins all up in his skin. And I was lucky enough that he let me pull them out! I thanked him for his performance and told him how I had seen him twenty years ago. He was humble and ingratiating and that totally made the experience for me. Here's some of our pics from midway. Oh to have those banners!






The mermaid girl was back and there was also a gorilla girl. Both of those attractions typically prove to be lame. The mermaid girl is done with mirrors, kind of a fishbowl effect and the gorilla girl is also done with some tricky mirrors, but at least she does jump out at you at the end. We didn't partake but the banners and fronts are pretty nice.











It is so wonderful to go to a fair with a sideshow presence. It's a dying art form and one of my favorites, so this was such an amazing highlight for me. Yes, the stuff is lame and there isn't an appreciation for it from many audience members, but it is so heaped in tradition and there is something punk and free about it that I absolutely love. I'd join a carnival in a second if the opportunity presented itself.






Next up, the rides. Casey and I opted to ride the rickety old rides this year, while Sam held our purses and took ridiculous video of us. This pretty much sums up our experience, although we road just about everything. Except that one that spins you around and drops the floor out. We watched it for a moment and then decided we needed another beer.



I was crushing Casey the whole time and laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes and wishing the whole experience would just end. And we paid twenty bucks each for this.

We also saw a magic show, complete with white bunny rabbits and doves materializing out of thin air and lots of tricks with boxes on wheels. We checked out goats and met this little black pig, which almost makes me want to stop eating bacon.



Almost.

I was most disappointed there were no giant pumpkins, steers, or horses, like from last year's fair. But the midway made up for most of that. And Casey and I got to do our best Patrick and Sponge Bob interpretation:



And then I got to do my best Faye Ray:



It was a really excellent day and when we were at work the next night, bringing people bullshit and basically hating our lives, I was like, yesterday was much more fun that this. And it was true.

I didn't get my alien sandwich like last year, but I did have shrimp on a stick again, as well as sausage and pizza. The funnel cake was disappointing, but I did get some ghetto fabulous door knocker hoop earrings that say 'I love you' inside for some reason.

Til next year, fair! You better rock just as hard!

She-Freak

Alright perverts, I've been drinking all day. It's my day off and I like to drink all day on my day off. Nothin' wrong with that and nothing wrong with watching a little bit of carnival exploitation from the 70's on your day off either. In fact, I can't think of a better way to pass the time. Thus I give you She-Freak, David Friedman's Freaks, as it were. Not nearly as entertaining as Tod Browning's original version, which we all know and love so no plot synopsis will be necessary here, partially because I'm buzzin', but Lord love it for many, many reasons. But, there are things I hate about it, but we'll get to those uno momento.

Reason #1 to love She-Freak. It seems like it was made by someone with a fetish for carnivals. I myself have a carnival fetish and love anything to do with one. My lunatic friends and I go to the state fair here every year and make complete trashy asses ourselves all day long. Talk about drinkin' all day. We drink Bud and watch the demolition derby and eat fried everything! It's a glorious day, my favorite day of the year, really. But yes, there is many a shot of people enjoying the carnival, eating cotton candy, reveling in the carnival, etc. etc. There is even a multitude of shots of the carnival being set up, and these shots take place well into the movie, at one point, they set up some bumper cars at like the 55 minute mark. The damn thing is nearly over! And they're still setting up. Like I said, carnival fetish. I'm very turned on right now.

Reason #2 to love She-Freak. It's called She-Freak. You know I love things concerning the ladies, and this just puts it right out there on the table. She's a freak and she's a lady. In my Quagmire voice, all right!

Reason #3 to love She-Freak. It's modeled plotwise after Tod Browning's wonderful wonderful movie. No, it doesn't feature actual freaks (one of the reasons to hate it), but it's still kinda sorta true to its source material - it follows the same formula anyway - and I love Tod Browning and I love his movie Freaks.

Now for the shit list.

Reason #1 to hate She-Freak. It does not feature actual freaks like its inspiration. Early on, when our protagonist Jade first joins the carnival, she takes in the 10 in 1. She expresses to her stripper friend, Moon, how disgusting freaks are and how she would prefer not to be near them. Always the sympathist, Moon assures Jade the freaks are better off in the show than out in the real world, but Jade still detest them. I don't know if there was just a lack of natural-borns or what, but all this has going for it is a sword swallower and an old lady that kisses a snake. And Friedman himself is the barker. That's pretty cool.

Reason #2 to hate She-Freak. It is slow. Slow as molasses. It's like a nudie movie only no one is nude and the nude parts have been replaced by the site of the tilt a whirl whirling for twenty minutes at a stretch. I'm exaggerating of course, but still. It can get real boring watching barefoot roughnecks assemble a ferris wheel. I know I said I got off at the carnival shots, but seriously, even I have a threshold for such things.

Reason #3 to hate She-Freak. Jade is gross. She looks like Jocelyn Weinstein. Her face is like a plastic surgery accident gone wrong and this was in the days before plastic surgery was in vogue. She does not own the coniving character of Jade at all, and seems actually more at home in her role once she becomes a freak show attraction. I could have used a much more attractive and convincing actress in the Jade role.

Ah well. Gotta love it and gotta hate it. Sometimes you gotta do both. I want more freaks and I want them now. But I gotta give props because I just do. I'm so eloquent.