Saturday, September 19, 2009


Saturday night, pumpkin muffins, Saturday night. What a fucking day it was - I hate people. I really need a new job. Really so I can get my hands and my neck tattooed more than anything else, but seriously, sometimes I really hate bringing people food and dealing with their bullshit.

So, in the last few days I've been bored at work and suffering from insomnia so I came up with a stupid list of random loves.

1. I love it in a movie when someone shoots all the bullets out of their gun and then chucks the gun at the person(s) they are so inept they can't hit. I know this definitely happens in MITCHELL and it's basically a trope of the 70's. You don't often see it today - although I don't really watch modern movies, so maybe I wouldn't know.

2. I have never seen APOCALYPSE NOW. Never once. But I woke up this morning with quotes in my head from this, a movie that I have never seen - and decided I love cultural osmosis.

3. I love in a movie, usually a holiday themed horror, when someone says, 'Merry fucking Christmas' or 'Happy fucking Valentines Day'. 'Fuck you, Arbor Day.' Damn you to hell, Flag Day!' I love shit like this. You know lines like these are only uttered when some shit has hit the fan and a lot of people have gotten the bejesus stabbed out of the
m. These lines are particularly uttered by cops and/or detectives.

4. John Saxon is the shit! I don't know if he's ever utter a line like the ones described in number 3, but if he did and it was brought to my attention, I think I would have to stop living right now.

5. Rubber suit monsters are awesome and I don't just mean Gozilla. Have you people seen the end of GHOULIES II? If you haven't, you need to. There's a giant rubber suit Ghoulie monster and he's gonna get you. He might get you tomorrow, but he's gonna get you.

6. I always enjoy a good subtle homage or tribute to a Universal classic. Or not so subtle. Seriously, the only thing that really saved BRIDE OF CHUCKY for me was when Jennifer Tilly's in the bathtub and the TV falls in there and BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN is on. That's good stuff.

I don't know what else. The buzz is seriously kicking in and I have places to be. Well, not really, but I'd like to think that I do. And no drunky post is complete without a picture, so here's Robert Deniro with her morning brew. She likes to get the coffee ready for when I get up. And yes, I have a female cat named Robert Deniro.


  1. re #3: "FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI" -my favorite of all time, and a classic example of what you're sayin'! The deputy finds some hacked-up paintballers and says to the sheriff: "Well, he sure picked the right day to pull this shit on... Happy Friday the 13th."

  2. the sneering (homo-phobic) snobSeptember 20, 2009 at 8:02 AM

    I love those scenes in films where beautiful, gorgeous, sexy 18 year-old chicks take all their clothes off and then parade around completely naked for the rest of the movie.

  3. jervaise brooke hamsterSeptember 20, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    All my dreams revolve around Heather O`Rourke (lucky me), what a stunningly gorgeous little darlin` she was, for me the world ended on february 1st 1988. Hey Jenn, how about a reveiw of "Poltergeist 3" just for old times sake.

  4. Ooh, good one Astro. In the MY BLOODY VALENTINE redux, Tom Adkins (a Cavalcade fave if there ever was one) says at the beginning when they find that Harry Warden's back or whatever, says 'Happy Fucking Valentines Day!' The movie was pretty shit, but that was worth the price of admission. Let's think of some more examples!

    s(h-p)s, those are good ones!

    JBH, haven't seen any POLTERGEIST movie in eons, for the sole fact that they used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid. I swear to God, that franchise was the scariest shit and is probably the reason I still sleep with a nightlight. I am not even joking.

  5. I always like the bit in the first Friday 13th where one of the victims/would be victims throws a ball of string at the killer. Can't remember if it's the main girl towards the end or the flashback girl at the very beginning, but whoever it is, they grab this little ball of string and fling it at the advancing slayer, not even forcefully. At least if a thrown gun had hit the killer there's the teensiest weensiest chance it might do some good. What good is string? Even, say, a direct hit in the face?
    Re: pain in the ass customers - I used to be a barman many centuries ago: I know, I know...

  6. String is not an effective killing method. A shoe or even a lobster would garner better results.

  7. I have to agree with point 5, as I'd rather see a crappy rubber suit monster over some CGI monstrosity any day. It's sad to think that we will probely never see another movie like "The Thing" again.

    Still I love these random trips into the Jenn Psyche :p

  8. I was convinced you said there were 7 loves, and that I miscounted or that you were drunk, then I saw there were only 6 and no sentence saying there were going to be 7, then I thought I was drunk, but I havent had anything to drink since yesterday. Yesterday.

    That being said, I share all the same loves minus the fact that I have seen Apocalypse Now. Giant rubber Ghoulie > all, but the cat is pretty sweet too. Official best rubber monster fight I have seen so far was in Giant Monsters All Out Attack, and has to be one of the best Godzilla flicks!

  9. There's Carl spreading the word. Good on you, Carl. Just watched Godzilla Vs. Hedorah tonight. That is one fascinating rubber suited monster (Hedorah)! Easily the grossest enemy Godzilla ever faced!

    Jenn: Robert Dinero looks like she may be in a bit of a stern and demanding mood. -- Mykal

  10. Jenn--Just watched the Hammer Horror CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN this weekend, and it has a scene in which the Baron shoots his gun empty at the creature (ooer!), and then pitches the thing at him. Of course in those days it was all muzzle-loading one-shot stuff, and they were heavy blocks of wood and iron that could actually do some damage, but still, the effect is the same. Bonus for Peter Cushing doing the pitching, and Christopher Lee doing the catching. Which sounds a little dirty, I guess...all the better. ;)