Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Jenn's Essential Holiday Watchin'

Well, the holidays are hard pressed upon us, and this season I can be found scurrying around (read: I go to the wine store and find the least expensive bottles I can find to give out to family members) getting ready for what is probably the cheapest buildup since my last one night stand. Since I don't 'work' that much as is, I can't even boast a terrific vacation to make way for holiday madness, but if there's one thing I do (well?) is watch weird movies and talk about them here. Through my cold medicine and malbec-induced hazed, I bring you my essential holiday movie watch list:

1. Female Trouble, directed by John Waters. JW (as I like to call him) is the one of the main reasons I'm here bringing you perverts hours upon hours of entertainment (ha!). I've derived the name of ye old blog from one of his flicks and I deem him essential viewing any time of year. However, if you see my post prior to this one, you'll see the reason this makes the holiday list.

2. Gremlins. While not an outright Christmas movie, per say, it's still set at Christmas and is weird and wonderful enough for me to watch it every season. It's a kid's movie about monsters and I probably also wouldn't be where I am without a movie that inspired my love of monsters at such a young age. I'm feeling all warm and nostalgic now.

3. Silent Night, Deadly Night, all of them, up through that terrible one Brian Yuzna directed. I don't care, as a horror movie fan at the holidays, you drink tons of wine, get out your gift wrap, start wrapping those gifts, invite your ex over and get to havin' this marathon. End the night forgetting everything you saw except Linnea's boobs impaled on taxidermy and let the tears flow. Feel free to even roll around in the carpet with the VHS still rolling. Wake up the next day wondering if you asked your ex to get back together but don't even feel embarrassed.

4. Black Christmas, the Bob Clark version, of course. A great slasher if there ever was one and Margot Kidder is such a bitch! Not to mention death by crystal unicorn.

5. Santa's Slay. I don't watch pro-wrestling, but damn if I don't become a fan of pro-wrestler Goldberg over the course of this whacked-out tongue-in-cheek holiday horror romp. I show up for the Goldberg, I stick around for the outrageous puns, and I leave with a nice buzz due to lots o' practical violence and silly gore gags. This one's a good time.

Well, I think I'm going to call it a night for now. I've been battling a cold for days now and not feeling all that stellar. But hey, I'm still drinkin' and watchin.' Make sure you check out Elwood Jones' blog, The Depths of DVD Hell for the remainder of this month because he'll be running lots of stuff about what his favorite bloggers deem essential Christmas viewing. He was kind enough to ask me for my thoughts, and you got 'em!

PS. Moochie was not harmed in the pic above. He got in that box and ASKED that we cover him in bows. We could only comply. Ya'll don't understand how insistent he is.


  1. Yeah my first addition to the collection and looks your house is a great place, to work off the old food coma.
    I know last year I only watched alternate Christmas movies, rather than digging out the same films everyone does, so I can also recommend "Jack Frost" (Not the Michael Keaton one) and "Santa Vs. The Martians" for equally random times.
    Thanks again for taking part!!

  2. Great suggestions all! I haven't yet got round to seeing SANTA'S SLAY, but I've still recommended it to a friend at work; how could it not be hilarious?

    Last year I watched DO NOT OPEN TILL XMAS and enjoyed it quite a bit--it turns the "Santa Killer" trope on its head by being about not a killer dressed as Santa, but a killer who only kills Santas! Seems like it would get boring, but for my money it's movie-watching gold.

    WRT Gremlins, I seem to remember some hoopla when it came out about Phoebe Cates' "christmas story," and how kids who weren't in on the whole "we've been lying to you about the magical guy UP THERE who keeps track of what you do right and wrong to reward you later thing your WHOLE LIFE" gag (the Xmas one, not the OTHER one) might be traumatized and parents upset. That, and the Smurfs were evil. Good days.

  3. Great list. Gremlins gives me the warm and fuzzies as well. I'm treating myself to the Black Christmas Blu-ray this year.

    I haven't seen either Santa's Slay or the sequels to Silent Night, Deadly Night. Could it be a killer Santa marathon this year? I think so.

    Plus, no offense Jenn, but Moochie is slowly becoming the star of this blog. Giggling isn't usual for me, I swear, but that pic "gets" me.

  4. @Elwood. I love Santa Claus vs. The Martians. I forgot all about that one. I think I gave Bruce a copy a couple of Christmases ago. I'll have to revisit.

    @Scott. A Christmas serial killer that doesn't dress like Santa but kills Santas? How is this now just coming to my attention? That doesn't sound boring in the slightest and is going to the absolute top of my TBW list.

    @Adam. Moochie will be pleased that he made you step outside your comfort zone and let the giggling come. He's napping right now, so I'll tell him when he wakes up ;)

  5. jervaise brooke hamsterDecember 16, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    The thing i like about Bob Clarks 1974 version of Black Christmas is that although it does have a genuinely magical Christmas atmosphere the story is rather nauseating there-by keeping you in touch with reality at the same time, its the perfect combination. By the way, i`d say Moochie looks lovely, cuddly, fluffy, and Christmassy all at the same time, another great combination.

  6. Silent night Deadly Night!! I think my brother and I watched this one on "Elvira Mistress of the Dark" around xmas time one year!! Good stuff!

  7. Hooray for both the SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT canon as well as BLACK CHRISTMAS '74. And hooray for Christmas Moochie.

  8. Cool list Jenn - I'm with you when it comes to the usage of cheap wine and weird movies to get through this 'most wonderful time of the year...'
    Hope you're feeling better too. Best wishes and fine merlots. :D

  9. Thanks, all, for their kind words and warm wishes. And you know I wasn't going to let the holiday season slip by without xmas cat dress up shenanigans. I think I might even have more in store...

  10. As bad as most of the holiday horror films are, I love them all. Interestingly enough, I hate Christmas, so maybe thats why they go hand in hand for me. Long live Christmas death!!