Friday, February 26, 2010

Dead Snow

I've mentioned once or twice (every day) that I prefer those oddball flicks from the seventies and eighties above anything and everything new and slick in horror these days. While I do venture out to the theatre for horror releases and I do rent the latest buzz around the internets, I just tend not to really fully enjoy new horror ventures. I can't help but think during anything new that I watch that a mid-seventies Italian giallo version would be better or that Jean Rollin could offer more panache to this or that or if Paul Naschy were only in this, etc.

DEAD SNOW is the perfect example of why I don't like new horror movies and why I don't like zombie movies any more. It's just not good. It's not entertaining. It's textbook and boring and tries to be quirky with its dumbass character that I don't care about. The diaglogue is lame (although that could be due in part to watching it dubbed) and there is sex while pooping, something that could NOT be any grosser. The couple pairings don't work, Nazi zombies just aren't as edgy as they used to be, the makeup effects are not particularly overwhelming (however, the whole hanging from a cliff fighting a zombie while hanging from another zombie's intestines was pretty rad), and it's referential but not in a good way.

All that banter about venturing out to a cabin in the woods crap and referencing EVIL DEAD and FRIDAY the 13TH just comes off as contrived. And it's got male characters saying the lamest sexist shit about women being scared and that's their nature and blah. I thought this movie was from this decade?

It does look nice and blood looks good on splattered on snow, but since when do I give a crap about something being well shot? I watch prints of movies that look like they were drug across the ocean floor and enjoy them more than this. I found myself wandering away to bleach my hair, check the mail, and vacuum all during the hour and a half running time of this bore.

Zombies are the new pirates and have been for awhile. They just don't do it for me any more.

That and I'm just cranky. DEAD SNOW actually served its purpose because sometimes you just want to bitch about a movie. Or at least I do; don't know about you lot.


  1. Call em like you see 'em, Jenn.

    I really disliked this movie, sometimes I'm baffled by the "horror community's" predilection for heaping praise on movies that don't deserve it. You nailed what I hated most "referential but not in a good way" to me it felt like one of the most expensive fan movies ever made, lots of production value but no cinematic know how.

    I don't know about the blanket claim of all new horror films though. There is good stuff out there, but I 100% agree that this is not it.

  2. I've been intrigued by this one for a while now....
    Maybe I'll stay away.

    And I agree -- zombies ain't what they used to be.

  3. @Adam. Here, here, my friend. I think the whole heaping praise on films that don't deserve it goes back to money, just like everything else. That's why these flicks show up in the genre magazines on the covers and in ten page spreads. It's gotta be about ad money and who has it to get their shit promoted. DEAD SNOW was boring and not at all worthy of the constant praise it received on the blogs and in the major mags.

    @Andrew. Check it out if you want to be bored to death by stupid characters and slick production values that essentially mean nothing. The last zombie movie that really did it for me was FIDO.

  4. I definitely agree with you. Dead Snow was just a rehash of everything else, with some decent special effects.

  5. Jenn, after being bored to tears by "DEAD SNOW" perhaps some laughter is in order so why not read the hilarious comments on Soiled Sinemas reveiws of "EXOTICA" and "EVILENKO". By the way, what was the last ultra mainstream, hollywood, studio made, big budget and widely released horror film that you did enjoy.

  6. Completely agree about both Dead Snow and maybe to a slightly lesser effect, the state of modern horror. There is good stuff coming out, but they are few and far between. I promise I will not go off on my Eli Roth rant. Anyways, I think I'll just stick with Shock Waves for all my nazi zombie needs.

  7. @Warfreak. Total rehash. I try to support my genre and watch just about everything that comes down the pipeline, but geez. Really?

    @I know who this is. I can't remember the last mainstream horror flick I really liked. I remember not totally hating JENNIFER'S BODY, but I took it for what it was worth. I also didn't mind THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT remake last year (was it last year?) and thought it had some really great violence.

    @A. I'm so glad so many folks are with me on this. And yes, I have an Eli Roth rant as well, but best as to not get into that now. I'll stick with EL LAGO DE LOS MUERTOS VIVENENTES for my zombie nazie needs. SHOCKWAVES gets points as well.

  8. jennifer lydecker (no kiddin`, well maybe just a little)February 27, 2010 at 8:05 PM

    Jenn, i haven`t seen JENNIFERS BODY (although i do desperately want to bum-off Megan Fox, obviously) but i did see the remake of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (albeit on a dodgy quality pirate DVD) and i thought it was pretty good as well (especially the exploding head in the microwave, that was a scream). By the way, when you said "i know who this is" did that mean you think i`m "Jervaise Brooke Hamster"?, i wouldn`t touch him with a 10-foot pole!!!, hes a Heather O`Rourke obsessed lunatic and i dont want to have anything to do with him (although i will admit that his comments over at Soiled Sinema are amongst the most hilarious i`ve ever read anywhere on the entire net).

  9. Awwww that's too bad. I'm still going to see, because I have to give it a chance. I completely understand what you're saying about new horror films. I think a lot of it is the Tarantino influence, trying to uber postmodern and self-referential. It removes a lot of the sincerity. Oh well. Thanks for the post and a different perspective than most on Dead Snow!

  10. Becky, it's not that I'm trying to be contrary, it's especially the opposite. I love horror, obvy, and I want to support my genre and watch all the new shit that comes down the pipeline. But what I don't get, is what Adam said, that the horror community often heaps praise on flix non-deserving of said praise. DS wasn't even trying to be anything, other than a stupid piece of crap, and while it does try for that sincerity, it misses the mark because it's such a rehash and I think its heart isn't really in the right place. This here is a money maker.

  11. I had fun with this one, it was stupid and low brow, but there was plenty of bloodshed by the end. Plus, whats better than a zombie Nazi?? Surprised you had such a huge dislike for the film, Ill take one for the team and watch it for you from now on Jenn

  12. That's just my thing, Carl, a zombie Nazi was cool like thirty years ago. And this didn't have the exploitative feel that those French Nazi zombies had oh so long ago. I'm just gonna go stick my head into the sweet supple sands of the seventies and pretend new horror movies don't exist.

    I kid :) Sort of.

  13. jervaise brooke hamsterFebruary 28, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    Jenn, "SLITHER" (2005) is a film you would love. I thought it was superb, a sort of unofficial tribute to one of your all-time favorite movies "SQUIRM" which i`ve never seen by the way (i know, shame on me). Like i say i`d love to hear your thoughts on "SLITHER". By the way, if you go to YouTube and call up Monty Pythons "upper class twit of the year" sketch (the complete version including the introduction of the characters at the beginning) you`ll find out where i got my name. One other thing, Jennifer Lydecker is a hot chick but i still think Heather O`Rourke is even hotter.

  14. I can see where you're coming from on the cliches and bullshit self-referential winks to the camera that many horror films (and the zombie sub-genre especially) are guilty of lately, and I will concede that DEAD SNOW has it's fair of these. What I will say, in it's defense, is that there was enough genuine horror vibe and awesome gore and technical competence to overshadow the bad... something juvenile like "ZOMBIE STRIPPERS", fr'instance, -completely pisses me off-, because it relies on the one same joke the whole time. But I feel DEAD SNOW had enough legitimate style going on for it that I could forgive the lazy little attempts at "zany" horror shorthand.

    That, and I'm a sucker for wintery horror. And the classic "crazy old man" character arriving in the middle of the night & telling the kids his story and setting up the action was purely good stuff, imo.

  15. Hey Jenn,
    "Zombies are the new pirates" LOL :) That's gotta be the "line of the month" spot-on.
    I also agree that FIDO was a fun flick... but then I love Billy C.

  16. jervaise brooke hamsterMarch 1, 2010 at 6:06 PM

    Jenn, have you seen MESSIAH OF EVIL (1973)?, the whole movie is on YouTube and i thought it was a cult gem par-excellence. It falls exactly into that catorgorie of bizarre odditys from the 70`s that you (and i) love so much, when i was watching it i kept thinking of you and how much i`d like to hear your opinion on this movie.

  17. I totally agree Jenn. Like The Hills Run Ride, I got tired of the self-referential-isms and the perceived 'new Nazi zombie concept' and saw it for what it really was: just a run of the mill rehash.